sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
