Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
