He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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