# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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