Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
