Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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