I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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