i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
