I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
