I can text with my tongue
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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