there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
