I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
