I think im going to throw up on grandma
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
