just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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