i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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