So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
