She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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