I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
