Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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