We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
