I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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