You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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