Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My pussy is not your playground.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
