i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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