Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
