??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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