CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
