He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
