It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just pee around me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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