my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
