You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
