im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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