Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
