You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
