clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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