I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
