I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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