hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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