Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think my moral compass just broke
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
