i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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