Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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