Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
