i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
