Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
