It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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