Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
