HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
