im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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