I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
