I want to make a zoo with you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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