I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
